Pawns in the Game of Power

Link: We Didn't Start the Fire

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I'm Into You

Visiting with a friend recently saw the discussion of how our love for others is often misinterpreted. Both of us share the same experience of being very open and loving of other people as we greet each day. Living in the heart of Vancouver's gay neighborhood we both get hit on by members of the same sex. As for the opposite sex, our experiences are slightly different as it pertains to the male / female experience; men generally hit on women. Nonetheless, even with our expressiveness towards everyone we are often confused with being interested romantically and men will hit on her, and in my case, women will extend invitations to me or they'll withdraw, thinking I'm hitting on them. In both of our cases, we're simply being who we are by expressing our genuine love for our fellow man or woman.

During the conversation, she jokingly said, "I'm not into you that way." in response to the misunderstood men and women that respond to her genuine warmth. As I heard her say this, I heard a deeper truth for the both of us and she agreed. 'I'm into you' is an accurate statement for all people we meet. I'm very interested in people, what they do, who they are, how they feel, and what their experiences are. Both of us love to connect with people in a very real way. If something romantic is to come up, it isn't something that we need to force, it is something that would grow from an ongoing friendship. She agreed and we both agree that 'I'm into you' can still hold true for all people we meet.

Starved for love is the feeling I get from people that latch on too quickly. Sex itself can be one thing but the real root issue, for me anyway, is that experience of love seems to be a real confusing mess for a lot of people. Continuing our discussion, we agreed that love begins with self, deep inside, offering a fullness that does not need filling from another. Experiencing this we are able to share love easily and freely without expectation and if and when something further develops, it develops from a place of already being full creating a more solid relationship of two individuals. Then it becomes a true partnership rather than a dependancy-based relationship.

I'm into you. Let me and we can have fun with life, relationship, and love without expectation. Enjoying the moment and connection our experiences of life will deepen and the bonds of friendship will grow. Without the expectation the discovery of romance will also come as a surprise and joy from a place of equal partnership that can occur playfully and painlessly. That friendship already developed will only serve to deepen the experience of connection to more intimate levels with respect and love that has already been cultivated. Be into me, I'm into you.

ANGER: Check In and Use It Right

Anger is Love. The work with spiritual and emotional intelligence has developed this perspective in my life. It has allowed me to check in underneath the anger for the other emotions that exist there. Quite often, it includes sadness, much in the way that we would feel and express sadness for the tragedies we see occurring around the world.

I have learned that anger has not served me well and it is not that anger is not useful. I absolutely agree that anger is useful. The problem with the force of anger is that it closed the ears and hearts of those I truly desired to see respond with change and justice.

Now, when I catch myself (I'm still human), I can pause and look beneath the anger and discover the pain I'm experiencing in relation to the issue. Accessing this deeper emotion the saddened and angered love is able to express itself with a message that has an emotional energy that can be received (most of the time) with enormous impact and allows me to nurture change in the other or in me. This isn't always possible, it isn't always easy, it is not always immediate, but the impact is there.

Where change is desired in the behavior of others, love and loving communication have far more power than anger and this can easily be seen by the virtue of the fact that many of the historical transgressions were often operating from a place of anger and mistrust.

Recently, here in Canada, a big issue came up around faith-based arbitration. This is a support to the legal system where individuals within a religious faith can settle disputes outside of the courts within the context and support system of their religion. Now something like this might cause many of us to cringe and even so, we must allow for those who are comfortable with their beliefs and what works for them.

If you google faith-based arbitration you can research the issue more fully if you want to know more. My assignment, from a multi-cultural paper that I write for, was to write a piece on this issue asking the question is there room in our system for such a structure. You can read the article here.

The other thing I've come to observe is that when we see such travesties, we know the answer, the desirable behavior, the justice required, and so on. Again, these are value judgements and I'm not saying they are wrong but in the context of another's culture and belief system the opposite can be true. Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, change is still required and disputes usually take longer to solve conflict than love. A good case in point is the impact Ghandi had in effecting change for India during his life.

Now I am nowhere near the level of Ghandi but I certainly strive for that sense of peace, love, and understanding. Oh, see? I missed the other important quality that helped him endure the process of change: Patience. A farmer plants the seed, nurtures the crop, waits patiently, deals with many external forces that cannot be changed with complete acceptance, and harvests the crop. Some years, crops are destroyed by pests, vermin, or weather and the crop is replanted the following year.

I desire a better world, more peace, less starvation, more equality, personal responsibility, etc. and the ideal, while desirable, is quite an unlikely possibility. This is not to say that greater measures of success cannot be experienced, there will be improvements. What I'm simply suggesting is that humankind will always display elements of our dark side. Getting better at dealing with the roots of the problems though will most likely allow us to reduce the frequency and severity of behaviors undesirable in society.

To Know is To NOT Know

This is truer than people might realize. Dig deep, there is a significant powerful truth buried in this statement that can redefine life and create more positive and powerful experiences. As we navigate life, become educated in society, and learn from experiences we inevitably think we know.

We know what people are like, we know what this means and that means, we know what to expect, and we know what will be good and what will be bad. All of these perceptions are defining a reality before it even has a chance to show you something different.

To know is to not know is a statement that drops judgement and allows the experience to demonstrate something new. It also creates an openess for you to discover more as you read the rest of the article.

Balance: Entreprenurial or Workaholic?

A workaholic is someone who has no identity beyond their work. Life is about so much more than what you do. It is about the relationships you develop and nurture. It is about social impact in your community. It is about the growth and learning you experience. It is about living passionately.

We are creative by our very nature, it's in our genes. Applied intelligence equals creativity. Intelligence takes on many forms.

So this creates a new question: (more here)

Empowering Teams & Leaders

A recent dream spoke to me about leadership. In this dream, I was a member of a good-natured team of life-loving characters. Isn't this typical of most of us in life and how we want to experience our lives? I believe it is. With performance being such an issue to sustain a business and create profit-margins, a great deal of stress is experienced at the supervisory level when performance falls below the line. In efforts to motivate, some supervisors will try a variety of tactics in order to ellicit the support they need from the team to keep up the pace. Are tactics really the answer though?

Leaders, like members of the team, all need to read this.