Pawns in the Game of Power

Link: We Didn't Start the Fire

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I'm Into You

Visiting with a friend recently saw the discussion of how our love for others is often misinterpreted. Both of us share the same experience of being very open and loving of other people as we greet each day. Living in the heart of Vancouver's gay neighborhood we both get hit on by members of the same sex. As for the opposite sex, our experiences are slightly different as it pertains to the male / female experience; men generally hit on women. Nonetheless, even with our expressiveness towards everyone we are often confused with being interested romantically and men will hit on her, and in my case, women will extend invitations to me or they'll withdraw, thinking I'm hitting on them. In both of our cases, we're simply being who we are by expressing our genuine love for our fellow man or woman.

During the conversation, she jokingly said, "I'm not into you that way." in response to the misunderstood men and women that respond to her genuine warmth. As I heard her say this, I heard a deeper truth for the both of us and she agreed. 'I'm into you' is an accurate statement for all people we meet. I'm very interested in people, what they do, who they are, how they feel, and what their experiences are. Both of us love to connect with people in a very real way. If something romantic is to come up, it isn't something that we need to force, it is something that would grow from an ongoing friendship. She agreed and we both agree that 'I'm into you' can still hold true for all people we meet.

Starved for love is the feeling I get from people that latch on too quickly. Sex itself can be one thing but the real root issue, for me anyway, is that experience of love seems to be a real confusing mess for a lot of people. Continuing our discussion, we agreed that love begins with self, deep inside, offering a fullness that does not need filling from another. Experiencing this we are able to share love easily and freely without expectation and if and when something further develops, it develops from a place of already being full creating a more solid relationship of two individuals. Then it becomes a true partnership rather than a dependancy-based relationship.

I'm into you. Let me and we can have fun with life, relationship, and love without expectation. Enjoying the moment and connection our experiences of life will deepen and the bonds of friendship will grow. Without the expectation the discovery of romance will also come as a surprise and joy from a place of equal partnership that can occur playfully and painlessly. That friendship already developed will only serve to deepen the experience of connection to more intimate levels with respect and love that has already been cultivated. Be into me, I'm into you.

ANGER: Check In and Use It Right

Anger is Love. The work with spiritual and emotional intelligence has developed this perspective in my life. It has allowed me to check in underneath the anger for the other emotions that exist there. Quite often, it includes sadness, much in the way that we would feel and express sadness for the tragedies we see occurring around the world.

I have learned that anger has not served me well and it is not that anger is not useful. I absolutely agree that anger is useful. The problem with the force of anger is that it closed the ears and hearts of those I truly desired to see respond with change and justice.

Now, when I catch myself (I'm still human), I can pause and look beneath the anger and discover the pain I'm experiencing in relation to the issue. Accessing this deeper emotion the saddened and angered love is able to express itself with a message that has an emotional energy that can be received (most of the time) with enormous impact and allows me to nurture change in the other or in me. This isn't always possible, it isn't always easy, it is not always immediate, but the impact is there.

Where change is desired in the behavior of others, love and loving communication have far more power than anger and this can easily be seen by the virtue of the fact that many of the historical transgressions were often operating from a place of anger and mistrust.

Recently, here in Canada, a big issue came up around faith-based arbitration. This is a support to the legal system where individuals within a religious faith can settle disputes outside of the courts within the context and support system of their religion. Now something like this might cause many of us to cringe and even so, we must allow for those who are comfortable with their beliefs and what works for them.

If you google faith-based arbitration you can research the issue more fully if you want to know more. My assignment, from a multi-cultural paper that I write for, was to write a piece on this issue asking the question is there room in our system for such a structure. You can read the article here.

The other thing I've come to observe is that when we see such travesties, we know the answer, the desirable behavior, the justice required, and so on. Again, these are value judgements and I'm not saying they are wrong but in the context of another's culture and belief system the opposite can be true. Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, change is still required and disputes usually take longer to solve conflict than love. A good case in point is the impact Ghandi had in effecting change for India during his life.

Now I am nowhere near the level of Ghandi but I certainly strive for that sense of peace, love, and understanding. Oh, see? I missed the other important quality that helped him endure the process of change: Patience. A farmer plants the seed, nurtures the crop, waits patiently, deals with many external forces that cannot be changed with complete acceptance, and harvests the crop. Some years, crops are destroyed by pests, vermin, or weather and the crop is replanted the following year.

I desire a better world, more peace, less starvation, more equality, personal responsibility, etc. and the ideal, while desirable, is quite an unlikely possibility. This is not to say that greater measures of success cannot be experienced, there will be improvements. What I'm simply suggesting is that humankind will always display elements of our dark side. Getting better at dealing with the roots of the problems though will most likely allow us to reduce the frequency and severity of behaviors undesirable in society.

To Know is To NOT Know

This is truer than people might realize. Dig deep, there is a significant powerful truth buried in this statement that can redefine life and create more positive and powerful experiences. As we navigate life, become educated in society, and learn from experiences we inevitably think we know.

We know what people are like, we know what this means and that means, we know what to expect, and we know what will be good and what will be bad. All of these perceptions are defining a reality before it even has a chance to show you something different.

To know is to not know is a statement that drops judgement and allows the experience to demonstrate something new. It also creates an openess for you to discover more as you read the rest of the article.

Balance: Entreprenurial or Workaholic?

A workaholic is someone who has no identity beyond their work. Life is about so much more than what you do. It is about the relationships you develop and nurture. It is about social impact in your community. It is about the growth and learning you experience. It is about living passionately.

We are creative by our very nature, it's in our genes. Applied intelligence equals creativity. Intelligence takes on many forms.

So this creates a new question: (more here)

Empowering Teams & Leaders

A recent dream spoke to me about leadership. In this dream, I was a member of a good-natured team of life-loving characters. Isn't this typical of most of us in life and how we want to experience our lives? I believe it is. With performance being such an issue to sustain a business and create profit-margins, a great deal of stress is experienced at the supervisory level when performance falls below the line. In efforts to motivate, some supervisors will try a variety of tactics in order to ellicit the support they need from the team to keep up the pace. Are tactics really the answer though?

Leaders, like members of the team, all need to read this.

Check out articles online.

I had been invited by some ezine sites to post my articles. I've attached two links here for the two different ezine sites where my articles are published and distributed around the net. I'd love it if you could visit, bookmark the author link, and rate my articles. From the ezine site you can also forward the articles to other people if you'd like. Thanks so much for your support! :D Click on their Logo's to visit my articles. One's displayed by categories and the other is a list.

This Ezine articles will be a list.

And Article Dashboard will show the categories that my articles are in; just follow the link.

Thanks!

Emotional Life

The sad clown attracts us and evokes a feeling of sadness and compassion. Or, as I recently learned, one of fear and revulsion. Have you ever noticed that the sadness and compassion, or fear and revulsion, really feels like it is for you? Often we live our suppressed emotional experiences through some other external situation, mainly entertainment. Once we’re in a safe environment, it’s okay to let it out. Except, you’ve buried so many emotions, you’re not sure what is left unexpressed. It can derail you at any time, upsetting your equilibrium, setting the waterworks at the drop of a hat, and blazing the rage with a tiny spark.

Consider a new way of being in this world; a way that allows the expression and understanding of your emotions. Imagine being present for others who are enmeshed in difficult times, barely coping to keep their emotions in check. What healing can occur! What strength will be gained! What friendship and loyalty will be developed! What team support will be developed! What courage will be found!

• If we’re human, then what does it mean to be human?
  
• If we’re spirit, then what does it mean to be spirit?
  
• If we’re emotions, then what does it mean to be feelings?
  
• If we’re the mind, then what does it mean to be thoughts?
  
• If we’re soul, then what does it mean to be soulful?
  

I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical, human experience. Within in that context, we experience many things on many levels. Could it be that this is what it means to be a multi-dimensional being? I’m not interested in empirical evidence and succinct clarity; I’m interested in the experience of being and life. The complexity of existence and the human entity absolutely requires an element of faith and trust in an inner core that cannot be defined by science.

The Dance of Life

Waking up as a little boy the excitement for the day's adventure pumped through my veins and lit up my eyes. I'd look out the window at the bright sunshine, the hay fields, and the expansive blue skies and magical clouds. Once out in the freedom of the day, with no responsibilities, I'd hop, skip, jump, and run with joy, wonder, and excitement. Somewhere along the way, I began to remember and learned about cause and effect. Suddenly some limitations came into existence. Continuing to grow and mature, I learned to reason and apply my own critical thinking to situations that may or may not happen. I was creating a new reality within the context of my mind and my past experiences. The horror!

Now, with another level of awareness that has developed, the spiritual awareness, it's like walking the tight rope between this world we live and work in, and the uninhibited freedom of a child at play. There is something more to this experience of life. We are not just conditioned beasts of labour and love. We are not just confined to living a life sentence in suburbia. There is, and always was, so much more available to us. It exists everywhere, including suburbia, at work, in the mundane, at the most extraordinary and ordinary. The only way I can explain the discovery is to dance.

One day hopeful, the other day destitute, one day in love, the next day hateful, one moment playful, the next moment serious, and one day success, the next day failure. We're constantly moving and changing. The only constant is the silence, the stillness, the quiet place deep inside where spirit connects spirit. We feel it in the closest moments of intimacy with family or significant others. It is experienced in the greatest profound moment of joy and all words, all senses, all comprehension has escaped us. There is nothing left to figure out, there is only to forget.

Everyday we would do well to forget many of the happenings of our yesterday. No bias, no fear, no limitations, no expectations, just wonder. Wonder and curiosity accompanied by joy and love. This intrigues me greatly. How would tomorrow look? How would my world interact? This ideal leads me to believe that more is available for all of us. As an idealist, many things I say may seem unattainable. This is the peak possibility, of that there is no doubt. While the ideal is beautiful, any measure or occurrence of that ideal is welcome. A grain of salt to flavor each day for a fantastic experience of life. Each day, I need to be that grain of salt too, and dance!

God Love Y'all

It's a challenge to stay at the centre of the wheel of change. It's like riding the merry-go-round in a playground. The centre is the safest part to stay, with much less risk of being thrown off. Yet the centrifugal forces of our emotions threaten to send us to the edge as we struggle to maintain our grip of the centre. The longer we can stay there, the more laughter we experience in the face of adversity. I've been experiencing that too.

Today was a bit of a challenge and I rode the ledge for a couple of hours. Having this perspective of existence that I've spoken of before, I'm finding it easier to find my way back to centre. Even so, I've also noticed that to edge away a bit from centre propels me into more action. There's a fine line there that must be negotiated. The dance of life.

Faith and Arbitration

Faith-based arbitration has shown itself to be a volatile topic, particularly with Islam being the fastest growing religion in Canada. Events around the world currently cast a dark shadow on the whole, as extremists make their statement through terrorism and western superpowers wield their muscle on their political war against terror. The truth has long since been lost in the battlefield debris. No wonder so many around the world are quick to draw the line between religion and state. But do we allow one rotten apple spoil the beautiful recipe of our multicultural society where Canadian law and human rights take precedent over all else? This is where our fears are clouding our perspective and blinding us to real solutions to a deeper root.

In researching more of this issue it is quickly observed that the ancient, and even archaic, punishments are well behind the times and irrelevant in today’s civilization. Speaking with a people from various faiths and origins the core of the issue is discussed along with the influences asserting pressure to exclude outright a specific segment based in the Islam faith. Their arguments are sound considering what can be learned of punishments meted out that see hands severed and people brutally put to death. A significant portion of those persecuted are women within a cultural context controlled by men through oppression. Religious oppression and political oppression are not unfamiliar throughout history. In fact, oppression within the home is not an unfamiliar fact either.

Where there is oppression, this country’s legal system will continue to offer the protection and justice that spins squeakily and not without fault. As always, we do the best we can and learn as we go. A recognition of this issue points to a solution, one that continues to protect Canada’s legal integrity, citizen’s human rights, and the religious freedom that has functioned well within faith-based arbitration results for more than a decade. As with the success of the 1991 Arbitration Act passed in Ontario, allowance can be made to include more influences and Canadian Law continues to take precedent. Nonetheless, there are those in our society who absolutely state that no religion should be involved with legal matters whatsoever.

Seeking out opinions yielded great perspectives on the political and social ramifications, some of which have already been shared. Getting the perspective of a woman within a culture that holds this oppressive history was unsuccessful. This refusal to respond to requests for their opinions speaks volumes to what exists within our society at a deeper root. Having their culture brought into this faith-based arbitration system will do wonders to bring more of the behavior into public view. Bringing these issues more into the spotlight will have far more beneficial results for the marginalized. Who will cry out for them when they cannot cry out for themselves and our system has no means to observe?

This has not been an easy topic to grapple. Born in Nova Scotia, spent childhood in Germany on an airbase, grew up on the prairies, lived and worked in Canada’s capitol, married to a French-Canadian, lived in Quebec and British Columbia, remarried to an immigrant, I am Canadian. I don’t identify to a specific belief that represents who I am and what my roots are; my roots are multicultural, inclusive, and more than the sum-total of any one belief system. This is who we are, Canadians and newcomers, looking to share life in community and integrating the best parts into a new whole. We’re famous for it. Why stop now? My vision of Canada is one where freedom reigns. With freedom comes responsibility and with responsibility comes consequences. There’s room for faith-based arbitration. Bringing issues to light and keeping Canadian human rights, along with Canadian law, at the foundation of all dispute resolution, these arbitration hearings can yield tremendous savings to our legal system and tax dollars. These arbitration settlements are not binding and as Canadian law takes precedent, if a party does not agree with the judgment they can seek out the Canadian legal process.

This brings me back to one real reason so many are up in arms over the issue; oppressed and victimized women. No inclusion or exclusion of a legal aid system will rectify this problem. This problem requires a different set of solutions. Many of us come from a history that is steeped in its own oppression and time, education, and patience saw us evolve beyond our unsavory past. The crusades, the inquisition, inhumane treatment of native Canadians, abused children, and the lists can go on. Everything that has been brought into the light has resulted in change for the better. Let’s keep it there.

Yin-Yang-You

I haven't been blogging much lately. It's been busy, alive, and in some ways, quite settled. I write best when turmoil stirs in my heart, sometimes for myself, others times for others. This week has been such a week of celebration full of activity and people that I haven't had time for much reflection. When I have, my mood and thoughts have been high and clear. Winter is coming and with it comes the never-ending rain. Maybe that will be when the dark-side will bring us some new light. :) I suppose some might wonder what that means.

The dark side, we all have one. Think about it, all those things we don't like about ourselves. Bad habits, behaviors, attitudes we've been told are not nice; many things make up our dark side. Too often it is suppressed, not to be recognized or embraced. Rather than admit it is their, we would prefer to say we don't suffer from any of these afflictions and suppress the negative aspect. Here's the rub: What you deny owns you, what you accept gives you back your power. Deny it and what you resist will persist. The irony is that the Whole consists of both dark and light.

We have night and day, hot and cold, good and evil, love and hate, and every duality that exists under the sun. All are there to serve a purpose. Knowing this, you have the opportunity to integrate your yin and yang, male and female, dark and light, and experience the fullness, the wholeness of who you are! You'll thank yourself.

Being yourself is such an empowering experience. Working with clients, I am astonished at the trap of self-conciousness that we all create for ourselves. I've been there and it has kept some of the best experiences in my life from happening. You might ask, "Well, if it didn't happen, how do you know it's going to be one of the best experiences?" Fair question!

If the experience doesn't happen then I am haunted by what might have been. I know many of you know this experience. There probably isn't a human-being alive that has not experienced this at least once in their life. When our moods are down we're more likely to experience this hesitation more often. Ups and downs are a part of life and in gaining perspective that this is true, we can call upon all of who we are by being present in the moment and still live each experience with a sense of brand new wonder and discovery. Get out of the mood and into the moment. Let the mood be, just don't be controlled by it; just be with it.

Now the opportunity to live the fullest experience in the moment is available. Seize the opportunity, the possibility, the beautiful person standing in front of you, and find out more of who are you. The fullness, the wholeness, the entirety of your true being. It's that blend of being and doing. I'm being me, in the moment, with my mood for company, and living still for now, this moment and encounter. My feelings just are and accepting them I also open myself to new emotional energy to move in. Life is a wonder, our bodies are a wonder, and the experiences are rich. Go for it!

We've all seen those people who are so free, able to dance in the supermarket aisle, to close their eyes on a sunny street in the middle of the day, arms outspread embracing the sun. What self-concious trap holds you back from being, being all that you are? I admire those people that do, don't you? To be free is to be free with yourself. Are you ready to set yourself free? It is your choice.